You’ve finally taken that next step. Kudos to you on your bravery.
I remember many years ago when the doubts just started creeping in, and how you struggled with conflicting emotions. You could barely understand what was going on. I mean, how could you? Society wasn’t as educated then as it is now. There were no manuals nor were there prior role models that you could look up to.
Hard as it was, you tried to shun the unorthodox emotions away. You ignored it hoping that whatever it is that’s been clouding your judgement, would resolve itself on its own and would eventually go away.
But it never did. And what’s worse, the once shunned emotions came back stronger with reinforcements, barging in on the doorsteps of your already fragile ego. There was only one way to deal with it, and that method is best summarized by an entry in the book “The Art of War,” by Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu:
Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.
While dealing with the issue, a lot of the times you felt trapped in your own predicament. Luckily, the times were changing, and people who have fought similar battles started sharing about their own experiences. You started to realize that maybe, it’s okay to accept who you are. That maybe you are not a perversion of nature. That maybe, if you tell your friends and relatives, the fallout may not be as bad as the one you’ve concocted inside your head.
The war, this personal war that you suddenly found yourself right in the middle of, would rage on for more than a decade before it finally comes to a conclusion.
But it will. And it did.
And now look at you exuding self confidence. The naivete, although a morsel of it still remains, is almost gone. You are not that same confused person from before. Not only did you finally understand the then-unorthodox emotion that has plagued your consciousness for the greater part of your adult life, you’ve also learned to accept it as part of you. Acceptance was the key to ending the decade-long internal conflict. No longer ashamed of things you can neither change nor run away from, you are ready to face the new challenges of your new life. A world that you will see for the first time with a fresh pair of eyes.
In your own time, using your own discretion you decided to invite more people in. I was there when you told groups of friends about the same old but new you. At first you painstakingly tried to force the words out of your mouth. When that didn’t work, you enlisted the help of a few dear friends to help push, but not drag, the words out of you. A nudge towards the direction you want to proceed. Clearly, having supportive friends like them made this whole process a lot bearable.
Come the present, you are now in a position to influence the others around you. Be a friend, a role model or maybe an inspiration if you can. A little encouragement, a gentle nudge, a few words of wisdom may be all that another person needs to muster up the courage to change and evolve for the better as an individual. It doesn’t have to be on a grand scale, just the ones that you come in contact with during your daily life.
Your life is but an instant in the grand scheme of things, but the legacies you leave will last for generations to come. Make yours a positive one.
Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.
– Henri Frederic Amiel